There are few more significant decisions in your life than deciding whether to have a baby. And I don’t mean “deciding you want to have children.” I mean each time you choose to have a child. But whether or not you believe birth order has an effect on someone’s personality (It does. Signed, The Eldest Daughter) there’s also no question that each baby you have brings out a whole different parenting experience.
One mom on TikTok, who posts as @erinward__, highlighted just how different the experience of having a third child is.
“Having a third kid is like buying a doll or a puppy” she begins. “There’s just so much novelty. [The] first is like a nightmare. You’ve got no idea what you’re doing. You’re Googling everything. You’re so nervous. … You’re overanalyzing everything. [With the] second you’re like, ‘what the f-ck is this sh-t show?’ You’re trying to balance two kids and it’s just like…” here she releases a long sigh.
But the third?
“Look at him!” she says of an infant looking like a pleasant little lump in a sleep sack on the bed beside her. awake, alert, but very demure, very mindful.
“It’s just like a little doll that you had for sh-ts and gigs,” she continues. “There’s just so much novelty.”
I don’t have three, so I can’t confirm this personally, but I can definitely see how one could get to this mental space. I think it’s a two-pronged approach.
For one, by the time you’ve had a third child, your older two have to be in the toddler stage and, as well all know, toddlers are their own special breed of absolutely diabolical. Even really “easy,” well-behaved toddlers are chaos. So you’re comparing an infant to a rampaging, highly mobile maniac.
Even a fussy baby will probably feel calmer by comparison, especially if you have two toddler-to-preschool-aged kids in the house (as @erinward__ does).
Secondly, you have two babies’ worth of experience by the time you get to baby #3. It’s not that the baby is any less difficult, it’s just that you know what to expect and do. In any case, however, there seems to be something special about that third little bundle of joy…
“3rd children are the BEST,” raves one commenter.
“3 boys here and i 100% agree,” says a second.
And it may not be limited to #3. One commenter jokes, “I’ve just had my 5th and he’s like a handbag. I just cart him around and he’s so good and chill and no one is stressed.”
Others, however, were skeptical or even straight-up contrary.
“It’s a trap, I know it,” said one, a sentiment that was repeated by multiple commenters.
“My third was a doll alright,” reads the most-liked comment in the section. “A Chucky doll.”
“False sense of security,” another teased, warning, “Just you waiittttttt…”
Honestly, either way, we love a sweet little squish, so even if your mileage may ultimately vary by the time they get to the toddler stage themselves, enjoy the sweetness for however long it lasts.
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