Holidays are always fun, but nothing hits harder than holidays with young children. You begin to see these occasions through the eyes of your children and through the haze of your own nostalgia — and it’s a heady, delightful combination. And when it comes to nostalgia, Halloween is for sure a Top 3. In addition, nothing sparks joy quite like a family costume.

But TikTok creator Annie (@anniesright) wants parents to think before they plan and post…

“I’m not one for parent shaming or mom shaming; I truly believe that raising a child is hard enough, especially in this day and age,” she says in a recent video. “That being said: if you post a family, couples Halloween costume, I will judge you accordingly … based on what character you are and what character you make your children be.”

Specifically, if you are the main characters and make your children be the “little side characters.”

“I feel like it’s indicative as to the way you view your child, honestly.”

Annie offers a whole lot of different examples of what she means, from parents taking the lead and those who step back and let their children shine, and… honestly, we’re picking up what she’s putting down: Lumiere is great, but no child wants to be Lumiere for Halloween…

“I hope to everything that is good and holy that they did not make this little boy trick-or-treat as the candlestick while mommy and daddy get to be the main characters,” she says, showing a picture of a family dressed as characters from Beauty and the Beast — with mom and dad dressed as Belle and Gaston.

If you’re doing Toy Story and hogging the Buzz Lightyear and Woody roles? Try thinking again.

“I respect people who take a supporting role,” she says, showing a family of four dressed as Monster’s Inc. characters — where the kids are Sully and Mike while the parents are the clean up crew. “And that way when years from now, the child says, ‘What was I wen I was 2?’ you get to be like, ‘You were the main character of a movie, and we were the side characters, because we’re your parents.’”

Another example of the right way to do it? A family where all the kids are Pokemon and the parents are the Pokemon balls. Nailed it!

We would add three other categories to the “Family Costume Don’ts” to consider this Halloween…

Pop culture references they can’t understand

It’s one thing if you’re just doing an annual family photo shoot around Halloween and your kids have their own costumes for trick or treating an parties — that’s just fun. But, like, your three year old has never seen Friends, why are they dressed up like Ross?

Anything too highbrow

I feel like the epitome of this can be seen in this annually viral image of two small children as Vincent VanGogh and Starry Night…

Anything you have to bribe them into

If they have an opinion then it’s time for your ideas to take a back seat. You can do your own thing, but even if your family is dressed as Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, and Batman: sorry, it is what it is…

An important caveat

If that baby is too young to have an opinion or care what they are wearing, that baby is a prop and you get to dress them however you want. Think of it as reciprocity for all your work bringing them into this family: for the first one to two years they are your adorable little Halloween puppet. And this year…

… please consider dressing them up as Moo Deng.

Happy Halloween. everybody!